


After This, It Will Be Easier

by Emiline



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 05:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21192161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emiline/pseuds/Emiline
Summary: She could stop speaking to Pippa, she could turn the other way in the hallway, she could choose not to interact with Pippa, but that didn’t mean that Pippa was gone. That didn’t mean she didn’t still think of Pippa, dream of Pippa,missPippa with a fierceness that surprised her with its tenacity and longevity.Hecate missing Pippa through the years. A companion fic to All This Time We've Spent.





	After This, It Will Be Easier

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion fic to [All This Time We've Spent](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050675) although you don't have to have read that one for this one to make sense.
> 
> What you do need to know about this fic is that it takes place in a universe where season 3 doesn't exist.
> 
> Title is a slight reworking of a line from a poem otherwise not at all suitable to this fic, titled "On the Passing of My Brother Alfred", by James Still. (There is no character death here, I assure you.)

Hecate had thought, all those years ago, that she could cut Pippa from her life, if only she had sufficient determination. It was years before she realized that this was only half true, and decades before it came to her that there wasn’t even as much truth in it as that.

She could stop speaking to Pippa, she could turn the other way in the hallway, she could choose not to interact with Pippa, but that didn’t mean that Pippa was gone. That didn’t mean she didn’t still think of Pippa, dream of Pippa, _miss_ Pippa with a fierceness that surprised her with its tenacity and longevity.

Hecate had not expected it to be easy, but she had expected it to go differently than it did. She had not expected it to be pain-free. She had thought that once through the worst of it, she might be able to one day look back on whatever it was she and Pippa were to each other - friendship, at least as she understood it did not seem to cover it, but what word there might be for it she did not know.

In her youth and inexperience and hubris she thought she had considered the problem carefully, had envisioned all likely consequences, insofar as that was possible. She had not realized that she would carry Pippa with her for the rest of her life, whether or not she ever interacted again with Pippa again.

_It will be easier in time,_ Hecate told herself firmly. And told herself. And told herself. And told herself.

To a certain extent, this proved to be true. As badly as she missed Pippa, she could not go on missing Pippa with that same painful, all-encompassing, constant feeling, for the rest of her life.

Time did not precisely heal the wound, but it did apply a balm to it.

* * *

The first time Hecate saw Pippa again, when they were both adults, long out of school, she wasn’t sure she would be able to breathe, let alone speak.

She had not expected it, and she was unprepared. Pippa passed out of her field of vision, and Hecate gasped great gulps of air.

For days she wondered if she was more glad or upset that Pippa had not seen her.

* * *

Meeting was inevitable, and the first meeting was as bad as Hecate had feared. That it was not worse than it was Hecate supposed they owed to the fact that they were not alone.

It was only later that Hecate realized she had harbored some hope that they might bridge this gulf between them.

It was easier to snip at and with Pippa than anything else, because anger was so much less complicated than the mess that was her feelings for Pippa which she’d never untangled. Anger Hecate understood. She’d never been able to put into words how she had felt about Pippa, how she still felt about Pippa. Trading barbs, on the other hand, was straightforward and easy, and gave a reason to her hurt that did not terrify her. There was a sort of comfortable reassurance to them. And it was a method of communication - admittedly a terrible one, but it was something.

_She hates me_ Hecate thought. _After all this time she has not forgiven me._ This wasn’t what she’d wanted, what she’d hoped for.

* * *

Ada, while becoming friendly with Pippa never quite became friends with her, a fact for which Hecate was immensely, secretly grateful.

* * *

It was appalling that Pippa would even consider not having a proper garden for Pentangle’s, but that was Pippa all over. No respect for tradition.

* * *

“Miss Cackle?”

“Ada, remember?” Miss Cackle smiled.

“Yes, well.” Hecate pursed her lips. Pippa was not the only one who had difficulty with tradition sometimes. “I wondered if might ask you to include these in your next communication to Miss Pentangle.” She placed a few jars and a neat stack of papers on Miss Cackle’s desk.

“Of course,” Miss Cackle gave her an odd look. “You are of course free to post it to her yourself, if you wish. Or you could even take it to her personally, if you wanted to go visit her and catch up.”

“I would prefer that it be posted with yours. And I am far too busy to take a frivolous trip to act as postmistress when there is no need to do so.”

“No need perhaps, but it is never too late to renew old acquaintances.”

Hecate counted to ten, slowly. “I appreciate the offer, Miss Cackle, but I would rather not.”

“As you wish. I apologize, Hecate, I can see that I have upset you. I assure you I did not mean you any harm.”

“I know. You were not to know, Miss—Ada.” The name felt strange on her lips.

“Then I will not mention the matter again. But Hecate, if you ever want to talk, I am here.”

“I doubt that I will, but thank you,” Hecate replied, surprised to find that she meant it.

* * *

Hecate woke in the middle of the night, her pillow and face damp with tears, a dream or perhaps a nightmare receding quickly _If you love something, let it go_ she thought in confusion, unsure if she was still dreaming. _I have let Pippa go, and I have not let her go. And she is gone. _

* * *

Mildred Hubble was hardly the first student that Hecate and Ada had disagreed about, nor, Hecate was sure, would she be the last.

* * *

_Mildred Hubble,_ Hecate thought as she faced Pippa _does not know when to leave well enough alone. ‘Miss Cackle wants to see me’ indeed. _

“All these years we spent hating each other,” Pippa said.

_But I never hated you, _ Hecate thought in astonishment. 

Then they were hugging, clinging to one another, and Hecate was afraid she might never be able to let go.

“You don’t have to,” Pippa whispered.

* * *

“Pippa and I are…reconciling,” Hecate told Ada later, when she was sure it was true, when she was sure this wasn’t all some strange dream or delusion.

“Oh Hecate, I am so glad to hear it,” Ada replied, with that warm affection that she was so generous with. 

“I am afraid,” Hecate confessed. “I am afraid that something will yet go wrong. It hardly seems possible, after all this time, that I should be this happy.”

“Oh my dear,” Ada took her hands, “we none of us know the future, but I have a good feeling about you and Pippa.”

“Not I hope, the same sort of good feeling you have about the school year,” Hecate smiled.

Ada laughed. “No, this is not the same sort of feeling at all. I know the two of you will be good for each other, because even in this short time I have already seen the evidence of it. And if that is not enough to make you feel better, have you considered the possibility that she might also be afraid?”

“Pippa? I don’t think she is afraid of anything.”

“We’re none of us totally fearless, I promise you that.”

* * *

Somewhere in the reconciling they slipped into courtship. A year passed, then two, then three.

* * *

Pippa lowered herself down on one knee before Hecate and opened a trembling hand to reveal a golden band.

“Hecate Hardbroom, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Hecate’s mind ground to a halt. She stared at Pippa.

“Hiccup?”

“Yes, yes, of course I will,” Hecate responded. “Yes, of course.”

Pippa beamed and slid the ring onto Hecate onto Hecate’s finger. “Give a girl a hand?” she asked.

“You’ve already got mine,” Hecate teased, but helped Pippa to her feet and pulled her in for a kiss.


End file.
